I Am Too Random

Let’s hope that 2009 is a lot more steady than the roller coaster that was 2008. I also hope I can get a job. A salaried job.

Who on Earth played the advertising executive at Mircosoft so well. They have now launched a clothing line. Called none other than, “Software“. WTF. 

So, let’s just recap what Microsoft has been doing. They launched those commercials acknowledging how people think Vista is so shitty but apparently only by reputation not actual functionality or lack thereof. Then they hired Jerry Seinfeld to appear in commercials with Bill Gates. I can’t even attempt to describe these commercials or even attempt to decipher what they meant but they ceased airing those now (thank god).

Which brings us to this clothing line. Designed by the rapper Common. Um, why? Why would you sell clothes? I don’t understand. There are many more areas you could plug your money than a clothing line. If anyone should be making clothes, it should be Apple. I could see people buying that crap up left and right. When you think of Microsoft, do you think of being cool? Being trendy? No, not really. I also don’t think of being fashion forward or design oriented either. So what I want to know is, who is the guy (or girl) who actually sold all this bullshit to Microsoft. Kudos to them! They are far too smart. You’ve actually tricked a multi-billion dollar company into making an ass out of themselves even more than they have already done and probably would have done without your help. I’m dumbfounded.

I published my review of her new album Circus on BlogCritics.org.

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! It was a little different being in Georgia for the holiday. It was my first time spending the holiday down here. I made it a little bit more like home by making my grandmother’s own recipe for sweet potatopie and a broccoli and cheese dish my aunt makes. They were both a big hit and I’m happy about that. Some relatives didn’t like the marshmallows on top of the sweet potato pie but that’s ok. It goes. It goes very well.

My step-sister and I nearly duked it out but I’m sure she’d just blame it all on her raging hormones from being pregnant. Easy excuse, right?

We ended up watching Into the Wild at the suggestion of my brother-in-law. I warned everyone that it was a long and sad movie that’s not really meant for the holiday’s but no one wanted to watch Hancock. Oh well. I had a lot of wine and champagne so it’s all gravy (oooo, nice pun!).

On saturday I ran to Best Buy and bought Saints Row 2. I had forgotten that the game was out and read a bunch of reviews the night before. I’ve only played the original Saints Row for a small amount of time after borrowing it from a friend last year. It’s no GTA (of which I am a huge fan) and you definitely feel that when playing. Saints Row 2 apparently has a lot of improvements but it could have used a lot more work. In some missions I get really frustrated from the bugs that exist. My reason for liking Saints Row 2 is because it’s far from being GTA IV. GTA IV is an amazing feat of design for a video game. It’s aim to be as realastic as possible was an important milestone in gaming but also quite annoying. I haven’t played the game for a few months now because when I play a game like that, I don’t want to be bothered. Especially not by in game characters calling me to go bowling. No. I don’t want to go to bowling, go on a date with Michelle or go for a drink. Stop calling me. Saints Row 2 succeeds in keeping true to the style we all know and love. Pure chaos and fun. I want to run over people and shoot at gangs and own all the stores and make tons of money. I want to build an army to take over the city. The last thing I need is a relationship to interrupt all that. The Saints Row franchise is known sortof as a knockoff and bastard cousin but that’s okay. In Saints Row 2, the game knows this. It’s over the top with its storyline, missions and world. I love it though. It fills the void that GTA IV left inside me.

So, this weekend I was a total bum and I loved every minute of it. Nothing gets your mind off stressful events quite like playing some great games on XBOX LIVE. I’ve been spending some time on the gaymer.org and gaygamer.net forum sites and the game Left 4 Dead  was mentioned quite a few times. So, after looking it up and finding out more about it I discovered that it was developed by Valve… my favorite game studio! They made The Orange Box which was fantastic even if it were to have only come with TF2 it would have still been just as awesome. Love that game. Anyways, Left 4 Dead  is a zombie game. You can play single player mode with 3 other A.I. controlled players or play a 4 way co-op. It’s much more fun to play with your friends, of course. There’s also a versus component which you can play with friends as well or other online players through matchmaking. It’s frustrating to get people on your team who don’t have mics or who are in an XBOX LIVE party and haven’t left the party (I noticed if you’re playing a different game, the “game chat” feature is disabled until you leave the party). Otherwise it’s fantastic. It’s two teams of 4 vs. 4 alternating between survivors (humans) and special zombies. The survivors have to make it to the safe-room alive but to spice things up, the special zombies can attack out of nowhere. These zombies feature special abilities that can do a lot of damage or slow you down. My favorite character is the Boomer. The boomer is this uber-fat zombie with boiling puss bubbles under his skin who waddles around and throws up on the survivors. His bile is what attracts a horde of zombies which can really set back the other team. When he’s shot and killed he explodes and his guts are sent all over the place attracting the horde as well. He’s like a zombie-bomb. Amazing.

I have to say, the zombies are very well done. They’re crazed and when a horde comes at you it’s seriously like you’re in a movie. Some walls even break open to let more out and zombies can fall from the ventilation shaft. It’s creepy, scary and so much fun! I love playing as a special zombie and wish you could set it so that you are either a survivor or a zombie during the gameplay (not alternating between the two). I played for hours on end and met some great people along the way who friended me. The creepiest part I’ve played so far was in a cornfield. It was filled with fog and was just a giant ominous farmland. C-R-E-E-P-Y.

While the game can be knocked for not really having a story… the question is do we need one? No, not really. I don’t need to develop a sense of sympathy for any of the characters. I don’t need to get a backstory because it’s an intense game once you get going. Do you really need a motive to run for your life and save your fellow comrades from a horde of killer zombies? The answer is no, you don’t.

Here’s part of the reason why I deactivated my facebook account (I found this after the fact).

So, I’ve been down in the dumps a lot lately, mostly because I hate my temp job and I can’t find anything else. It’s very frustrating.

My previous employer combined my last two paychecks and sent one giant fat one in and I also received my first paycheck from my new job. All at once! It was a glorious weekend despite the bouts of sadness. So, during my lunch break on Friday, I went over to the mall and bought Haunted and Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk. Ugh, I love him. He’s amazing. He and I have inside jokes. He puts them in his novels for me. Just kidding. Or am I?

After work, I drove to Best Buy and picked up Gears of War 2. Shamefully, I must admit, I’ve never actually played the original Gears of War. Regardless, it’s a fantastic game and it kept me entertained all weekend long and I’m not even done playing! I also got in some Halo 3 game-play (I’m pretty rusty).

Today I went back to the bookstore in the mall (which is conveniently located right across the street) and picked up Rant by Chuck Palahniuk. I really wanted Lullaby and my initial intent on Friday was to purchase that novel but they didn’t have it. They won’t. They are closing the store. Tough times these days. I was poking around the last name “O” and “P” sections after choosing my Chuck Palahniuk novel and my hands grabbed a novel titled Fuck-Up by Arthur Nersesian. Sound interesting? That’s what I thought too. Read the summary on the back and it sounded like my life a little bit and to me, everything has a reason so I must have picked it up because I needed it. Maybe it will give me some insight. Maybe it will lift my spirits. Maybe I won’t feel like such a fuck-up after reading it. Who knows.

All in all, it was a decent weekend; Full of entertainment and media, which is good in my book. Oh, look, a pun!

At the time of this writing, Obama just gave his speech claiming victory in the 2008 election and I am in tears. When he spoke about the 106 year old woman in Atlanta casting her ballot and all that has happened in her lifetime, I lost it. To think about how much our nation has changed in a century is amazing. I’m crying because Obama truly is the image of hope. It’s about how far you can come and what you can overcome. People don’t understand why it’s an issue that he’s black. For everyone who considers themselves African-American, it is significant. If it were an Asian man elected or even a woman, it would be significant. I think about my life as a gay man and all that my community has endured for decades before me. From before Stonewall where people could be arrested for being who they are and up until now where people simply cast a vote so that I cannot marry someone I love. To think of and be reminded of all that I’ve had to endure and all that anyone has had to endure is to make us give pause and remember that we are strong. That we can go through the most horrific of incidents and the most challenging life experiences and still be here. There were times when it was difficult just to wake up and keep going through the day being tortured by everyone around me but my life has changed and it will continue to do so. I know that it will change for the better. For us all.

I’ve never been to Georgia in the fall. The weather is absolutely amazing. It’s beautiful outside.

This weekend I hung out with my friend Michele and we went to Netherworld, which is the number one rated haunted house in America and conveniently located in the same town I work in. It was worth the $25 dollars for both haunted houses. The first one, dubbed “Carnivore” was the best by far. It was the longest and scariest. The amount of effects, costumes and effort put into this is amazing. I was so excited to go and came out of it with my heart jumping out of my chest.  Afterwards, we took a trip to the Marietta Diner which was pretty damn good. Being from Jersey, I consider myself a connoisseur of diners and I give this one my stamp of approval. Felt good to be with friends from back home in a place that reminded me of home.

With the good weather and proximity to an Air Force base, Michele and I went to a really nice spot with a great open view of the city and watched the jets perform and train. Crazy stunts and awesome superfast, low-flying jets rounded out the weekend to make it a very entertaining one.

I know I haven’t really posted about graduation or my job predicament or anything truly life related but I’m starting to break. I decided I’d try out where my dad lives (GA) for awhile. I graduated and left my home of 22 years to try life down south. I knew I’d be better off financially than back up north. In high school, I never knew my life would become so filled with happiness and that all those years of torment and dark thoughts planted by hateful teenagers would become a very distant memory. College was amazing. I discovered so much about myself and realized there is still so much more to learn. It was a bubble for sure, but a bubble that I played in and had so much fun. I made so many friends that it’s weird to walk around for a whole day and not know one face. It was a lot to take in at first. I had so much and then suddenly, when I moved, I had nothing. It’s hard starting over. That’s a big understatement. It’s devastating, really. My first 4 weeks down here, I’ve never had my heart hurt like that. I felt and still do feel quite alone here. I have virtually no friends and I don’t find a point to anything that I do. It’s a substance-free existence. I don’t know how much more of this I can really take. I’m waiting for something. I don’t even know what. I pull myself together to break down every so often. I’m an old car and the engine is going.

I miss home. I miss the smell. The feel of it. I feel like a stranger here. I don’t belong.